He's having a baby

*jaw falls on floor, brain explodes*

(courtesy MrsMalkav)

Overanalyzing stupid Facebook data

From Facebook:

3rd in "Who is more entertaining"
4th in "Who is sexier"
6th in "Who is more organized"
6th in "Who would I rather kiss"
8th in "Who is more powerful"
16th in "Who has a better smile"
21st in "Who is a happier person"

I find so much of that weird. Okay, dead last for "happier person" is downright predictable. Anyone who has met me would struggle to describe me as "peppy." And while mildly flattered that I did as well as 4th in "sexier," I am mystified by the combination of that with 16th for "better smile." Don't get me wrong, I have complained frequently that I have a goofy-ass smile that makes me detest most pictures taken of me, but how does one reconcile the "sexy" with the "detestable facial expressions"? Am I a brown bagger/butterface? Is that it? 'cause I've seen me with my shirt off. It's not pretty, people. I mean, I _am_ a beautiful Adonis of a man, but still...

Update: Found out each of those constituted 1 (or at most 2) comparisons. Statistically insignificant sample, anyone? Come on people! I know you procrastinate! You can do better!

A bad combination

You know what I've decided is a really bad combination? Having lots of things you want to do, but at the same time being lazy, inefficient, and basically unproductive.

Funny, that.

The most important thing I learned from "Beowulf"

Don't, under any circumstances, bang a water demon, even if she looks like Angelina Jolie. Just...don't.

A former roommate poses an interesting question

Why _haven't_ the Japanese taken over the world?!

I can has a fedrul cort kase?

Wow. Just...wow.

Sheepies!

You...you mean the markets aren't rational? That all those clever bankers with their fancy computer models boil down, in the end, to lemmings? I'm shocked! Shocked, I tell you!

P.S.

FYI, NO. CLEARLY I DON'T EVER FUCKING DO ANY USEFUL WORK _EVER_.

Just...thought I'd make that clear.