This is just so indescribably wrong. Delightfully, indescribably wrong.
(I think I'm going to like this comic)
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Totally unnecessary...
Has the phrase "ejaculate rainbows" ever been used by anybody ever before?
("oooohhh....rain-BOWs...")
("oooohhh....rain-BOWs...")
You know you're having a really bad day when...
You know, it blows me away that there are some people who believe that God doesn't have a dark, cruel sense of humor. What's next? They get audited?
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Our aging population
Are we now so old an decrepit that we are more concerned with aching joints than with "hot lesbian action"? What a sad, sad world we live in...
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Other earthquake effects
I rely on very few things. Land masses not moving by 98 feet at a time used to be one of them.
Update: Apparently I can't rely on how fast the earth spins, either.
Update: Apparently I can't rely on how fast the earth spins, either.
Those bumps "down there"...
I have seen this ad many, many times at this point, but it never stops being disturbing...
Saturday, December 25, 2004
I've finally succumbed to the collective narcissism of the digital universe...
I can't believe I'm doing this. For years now I've resisted the pull of blogging. Desperately. Strenuously. And now, because the universe likes to make me contradict myself, here I am.
It's not as if I wasn't aware of the whole blogging phenomenon. I was an introverted, socially challenged nerd back in the day (don't say it), so I was up on all the happenin' neo-tech. I saw blogging. It didn't interest me. It always struck me as quintessentially narcissistic. I mean, come on...what kind of self-involved prick truly believes that his or her daily and spontaneous thoughts interest a global audience? Do I give a shit which smiley face best represents your mood at this particular moment? No, fair reader...even the most talented exterminator has yet to find the rat whose ass I give about that goddamn smiley face. You and your little yellow circle can kiss my increasingly out of shape ass.
(and btw, blogging is not going to lead to a revolution in news delivery. It is not going to subvert networks and the traditional media. I understand you want to feel important. I really do. But the thing is, all blog journalism is going to bring you is people reading the news from the perspective of other people who share their opinions, stereotypes, and hatreds. Think about how the Fox News audience views the world. Now distribute that. Welcome to the future.)
So why, you may ask, am I bothering to start this little narcissism? Well, two reasons. First, Okwui has a giant mail archive from me collected over the past several years largely filled with random links and pithy, sarcastic commentary from yours truly. Any of the rest of my friends who had bothered to actually save my email would likely have the same. So I thought I might be nice to lay off the world's spam-choked email servers and just post all the random crap I find here. And while I'm at it, I might make you endure my random thoughts as well. :)
Which brings us to reason #2 for this here blog. I think I realized what I want to do with my life. Over the past few years I've been trying to figure out what the hell I want to do with my life. I really like computer science, but I couldn't help but wonder if that's really where I should be. It's so filled with asocial fucktards that I sometimes get scared of spending my life alone in seclusion working on some arcane piece of research. Despite the vitriole you may perceive gushing from my metaphorical mouth at the moment, I like people. Ok, so that's not quite true...I hate people. People are responsible for everything wrong with my life and the world in general. But I like my friends, and I'm honestly better at interacting with people than I am at thinking analytically, which is why I have been hesitant to think about staying in the tech world for the long term.
So I've toyed alternatively with law school (ruled that out shortly after graduation), business school, non-profit, social analysis of some sort...lots of different things. But I haven't been able to settle on anything. It's been driving me nuts.
But I think I had a bit of an epiphany tonight. And by epiphany, I mean idea that will last until I have toaster strudel tomorrow morning and find some other momentarily appealing alternative. Like putting peanut butter on the cat's paws. But, I digress. I was typing a note to a CS PhD student (and a former tf no less) explaining, very nicely, why he was completely wrong about something. It was midnight, and it took me about 45 minutes. When I sent it, I realized that, by god, I really do enjoy this. Not just the informing people they're wrong part...that you can do in pretty much any profession if you work it right. I like thinking about these issues. It makes my brain feel alive. And it's interesting. And though tech is plagued by the same kinds of administrative and political bullshit that the rest of the universe is, it isn't quite as bad because you have to have a basic level of intelligence to have anything to do with the field. You generally can't get away with being a dimwit middle-manager with an MBA from Fuckwit U. in middle Montana who gets his shits and giggles from lording what little authority life has afforded him over your unfortunate and increasingly resentful ass.
I decided long ago that I was not going to go the way of public service. I became jaded at an early age. Though the world is rife with injustice, and the powerful fuck the powerless gently with a chainsaw on a daily basis, I'm not interested in fixing it. I'm particularly not interested in fixing it after the democratic re-election of GW Bush. That was proof to me that the world is enjoying the handbasket it's currently riding in, so who am I to interfere? Hitler was democratically elected, people are dumb, and they have lost even the most rudimentary ability to engage in political self-preservation.
Credo of the American Public:
"We, the poor, believe that the economic and political system that increasingly reinforces the divide between classes and bases the inherent worth of a person on the value of their bank account should be fervently protected against the forces of justice and reform. Why? Because there is always the remote chance that we, too, might end up wealthy, and then who would we have left to dick over?"
On top of that, all of the noble souls I know who have dedicated their lives to a cause have ended up sad, defeated, lonely, and poor. It's a battle that can't be won, folks. So in the meantime, I'm going to make sure my corner of the handbasket is comfortable. I want a comfortable seat and a nice penthouse view of the crumbling of the American empire.
But all that said, I don't need to be uber-rich. Sure, it would be nice. But I'm not going to stay in a job I hate, or even just am bored with, just to make money. I would feel my brain dying, and I'd have to interact with slimy, deceitful nimrods all day. Having a ton of money when I'm 50 isn't worth wasting my youth on that crap. I'd rather forego Scrooge McDuck's coin vault in favor of a less ostentatious but more stimulating existence.
And so, I think I will stay in tech and in research. I like what I do. I don't know if I'm any good at it, but I don't seem to have completely embarassed myself yet. I don't know if this means I'll be skipping off to grad school immediately, but I think this is the kind of stuff I want to do. And if I did end up in academia, that wouldn't be so bad. I'd be surrounded by interesting people, and I think I could probably entertain the undergraduates. How many times have you had a professor who tried to sell you rubber nipples in class?
It's not as if I wasn't aware of the whole blogging phenomenon. I was an introverted, socially challenged nerd back in the day (don't say it), so I was up on all the happenin' neo-tech. I saw blogging. It didn't interest me. It always struck me as quintessentially narcissistic. I mean, come on...what kind of self-involved prick truly believes that his or her daily and spontaneous thoughts interest a global audience? Do I give a shit which smiley face best represents your mood at this particular moment? No, fair reader...even the most talented exterminator has yet to find the rat whose ass I give about that goddamn smiley face. You and your little yellow circle can kiss my increasingly out of shape ass.
(and btw, blogging is not going to lead to a revolution in news delivery. It is not going to subvert networks and the traditional media. I understand you want to feel important. I really do. But the thing is, all blog journalism is going to bring you is people reading the news from the perspective of other people who share their opinions, stereotypes, and hatreds. Think about how the Fox News audience views the world. Now distribute that. Welcome to the future.)
So why, you may ask, am I bothering to start this little narcissism? Well, two reasons. First, Okwui has a giant mail archive from me collected over the past several years largely filled with random links and pithy, sarcastic commentary from yours truly. Any of the rest of my friends who had bothered to actually save my email would likely have the same. So I thought I might be nice to lay off the world's spam-choked email servers and just post all the random crap I find here. And while I'm at it, I might make you endure my random thoughts as well. :)
Which brings us to reason #2 for this here blog. I think I realized what I want to do with my life. Over the past few years I've been trying to figure out what the hell I want to do with my life. I really like computer science, but I couldn't help but wonder if that's really where I should be. It's so filled with asocial fucktards that I sometimes get scared of spending my life alone in seclusion working on some arcane piece of research. Despite the vitriole you may perceive gushing from my metaphorical mouth at the moment, I like people. Ok, so that's not quite true...I hate people. People are responsible for everything wrong with my life and the world in general. But I like my friends, and I'm honestly better at interacting with people than I am at thinking analytically, which is why I have been hesitant to think about staying in the tech world for the long term.
So I've toyed alternatively with law school (ruled that out shortly after graduation), business school, non-profit, social analysis of some sort...lots of different things. But I haven't been able to settle on anything. It's been driving me nuts.
But I think I had a bit of an epiphany tonight. And by epiphany, I mean idea that will last until I have toaster strudel tomorrow morning and find some other momentarily appealing alternative. Like putting peanut butter on the cat's paws. But, I digress. I was typing a note to a CS PhD student (and a former tf no less) explaining, very nicely, why he was completely wrong about something. It was midnight, and it took me about 45 minutes. When I sent it, I realized that, by god, I really do enjoy this. Not just the informing people they're wrong part...that you can do in pretty much any profession if you work it right. I like thinking about these issues. It makes my brain feel alive. And it's interesting. And though tech is plagued by the same kinds of administrative and political bullshit that the rest of the universe is, it isn't quite as bad because you have to have a basic level of intelligence to have anything to do with the field. You generally can't get away with being a dimwit middle-manager with an MBA from Fuckwit U. in middle Montana who gets his shits and giggles from lording what little authority life has afforded him over your unfortunate and increasingly resentful ass.
I decided long ago that I was not going to go the way of public service. I became jaded at an early age. Though the world is rife with injustice, and the powerful fuck the powerless gently with a chainsaw on a daily basis, I'm not interested in fixing it. I'm particularly not interested in fixing it after the democratic re-election of GW Bush. That was proof to me that the world is enjoying the handbasket it's currently riding in, so who am I to interfere? Hitler was democratically elected, people are dumb, and they have lost even the most rudimentary ability to engage in political self-preservation.
Credo of the American Public:
"We, the poor, believe that the economic and political system that increasingly reinforces the divide between classes and bases the inherent worth of a person on the value of their bank account should be fervently protected against the forces of justice and reform. Why? Because there is always the remote chance that we, too, might end up wealthy, and then who would we have left to dick over?"
On top of that, all of the noble souls I know who have dedicated their lives to a cause have ended up sad, defeated, lonely, and poor. It's a battle that can't be won, folks. So in the meantime, I'm going to make sure my corner of the handbasket is comfortable. I want a comfortable seat and a nice penthouse view of the crumbling of the American empire.
But all that said, I don't need to be uber-rich. Sure, it would be nice. But I'm not going to stay in a job I hate, or even just am bored with, just to make money. I would feel my brain dying, and I'd have to interact with slimy, deceitful nimrods all day. Having a ton of money when I'm 50 isn't worth wasting my youth on that crap. I'd rather forego Scrooge McDuck's coin vault in favor of a less ostentatious but more stimulating existence.
And so, I think I will stay in tech and in research. I like what I do. I don't know if I'm any good at it, but I don't seem to have completely embarassed myself yet. I don't know if this means I'll be skipping off to grad school immediately, but I think this is the kind of stuff I want to do. And if I did end up in academia, that wouldn't be so bad. I'd be surrounded by interesting people, and I think I could probably entertain the undergraduates. How many times have you had a professor who tried to sell you rubber nipples in class?
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