Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Sometimes Gabe is a better writer than Tycho

This paragraph was a work of such staggering comic genius that it necessitates not just linking but outright quoting. I love the last sentence. It should be enshrined in some fashion...

"Tycho seems near death which is a real problem since he is my gravy train. There has been a lot of talk recently about creative teams breaking up, but I assure you that will never happen here as long as I can help it. It’s really not even fair to describe us as a creative team since that implies a level of comradery that just isn’t present in our relationship. You see I recognized his talent for writing years ago while the two of us were still in high school. It seemed that his suicidal pessimism and fierce inner demons drove him to create some pretty incredible creative works. It was then that I developed a plan to harness his crippling depression and ride it to financial success, even if it killed him in the process. For the twelve years that I’ve known him I’ve treated him like a powerful creative furnace that I must feed with insults and contempt in order to produce clean, warm creativity. My greatest fear is that he will one day die or feel true joy." -- Gabe, 2/2/05

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