For the record

I'm currently sitting in the marble-floored waiting area of the local Lexus dealership waiting for my car. I'm on my laptop connected to their free wireless network, there's an espresso machine in the corner, and I've experienced the following disturbing events in the past 15 minutes:

• Saw a white, groomed poodle standing in the back of a white Lexus SUV
• Saw a man emerging from the bathroom carrying a pipe thoughtfully
• Counted 3-4 trophy wives
• Surrounded by painfully unctuous service people
• Noticed a guy in the corner anxiously watching a live feed of the stock market
• Discussed attending an art opening at Harvard attended by the University President
• Overheard a blond woman with designer sunglasses on her head describing how the company's stock price fell 5 points on news of an FDA investigation into one of its drugs and how she gets the kids all of next week
  

I need to get the hell out of here.