My latest way to amuse myself

Reading Amazon.com reviews of the Bible (at the suggestion of Something Positive)

Some choice reviews:
File under "fairy tales", October 2, 2005

Reviewer:

James A. Cairney (Brighton, England) - See all my reviews

This is an interesting wee book, but it could have used a car chase to liven it up a bit, perhaps a few more sex scenes and all the best "religion" books have at least some aliens.
I thought the whole "He's Dead!!!" , "No He's not!!" ending was a bit weak and the "Deus ex machina" thing really had been done before...
The main character "Jesub" has a few good (almost god like) one liners, but Harry Potter would kick his skinny ass.

Looking forward to the follow up!

An Exceptional Work On The Nature of Human Delusions and Violent Psycopathy, October 10, 2005

Reviewer:

Ruthless (New York) - See all my reviews

This book is the product of a severely diseased mind. Every human perversion and psychosis is analyzed in depth. From all shades of prejudice, to sadism and incest, the worst of the human condition is proudly on display, married to a forceful ignorance which concludes that

1. All homosexuals should be executed
2. Blacks are merely slightly evolved monkeys
3. Women are responsible for all human sin and weakness
4. The world is a 6000 year old floating disk around which sea monsters patrol. (Various copies of this book omit this statement, as it was proven wrong in the late 15th Century. Unfortunately for the faithful, this book is the inspired word of their invisble friend who lives in the sky, whom they call "God". This God is incapable of speaking anything but the truth. Thus to omit or change any statement from the original bible is to move against God, and imply that he is capable of being wrong, which throws the whole text out the window.)
5. A man named Moses was given a tablet listing ten commandments, which govern human morality. Sadly, God is plagarizing the ancient Egyptians and their Book of the Dead here, which had essentially the same list, and was created much earlier than this Judeo-Christian work. A decidedly low blow by God there, as the ancient Egyptians never had the Book of the Dead copyrighted, and cannot sue him.

Please do the right thing and burn any copies of this book which you encounter, to inhibit the spread of this idealogical cancer. And if you ever encounter someone who actually believes the depravities and impossibilities listed in this text, please beat them about the head with a large, blunt instrument repeatedly until they come to their senses. Think of it as your Christian duty.

A good price, October 19, 2005

Reviewer:

Michelle Goodrich (west sacrmento, ca United States) - See all my reviews

The price was right. The imitation leather looks like imitation leather. A good book.

Overrated, October 21, 2005

Reviewer:

Aids Vs. Cancer - See all my reviews

People have gone through alot worse than what Jesus Christ has gone through. For example this morning I was out of milk and could not have a bowl of cereal. Turns out I forgot that I had to use the rest of the milk last night for my dinner. Which was cereal. All I eat is cereal. So it was a really big deal when I found that I was out of milk. Some people are crucified and others have to skip breakfast. The point is everybody has a really bad life. Jesus was the son of God. So what? You should meet my father. I'm sure he has put me through alot worse. He always makes me listen to Baby Boomer music and made me play sports like basketball and baseball when I was a little kid.