Okay, yes, creepy. But isn't this a victimless crime? If the guy can seriously get his rocks off by boning an umbrella stand, why shouldn't he be able to do that? He doesn't bother any women (or little boys), and there's no chance that it could accidentally involve passing on his umbrella-humping genes. Isn't this pretty much ideal?
Let natural selection do its work, for fuck's sake!
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