On Carlinism

You'll forgive me...it's 1:30 am, and I'm in a melancholy mood...

I was discussing with a friend recently our relative views on, well, everything. Seeing as how she was talking to me, you can rightly assume that she shares at least some of my dark, jaded outlook on life. But she hasn't give up entirely on humanity. And I realized that I totally have.

It was kind of shocking to me, actually. It seems somehow anathema to liberalism to be fatalistic about the prospects for our species. And yet, I am also an empiricist, and the empirical evidence points inevitably to the fact we are, as a species, selfish and self-destructive. Maybe that's actually the core of liberalism anyway...the fundamental recognition that people are self-interested fucktards, and that that is, you know, bad. Conservatives either fail to recognize the dark nature of humanity (inexcusably idealistic naivete) or recognize it but just don't give a shit (understandable narcissistic apathy).

Anyway, back my main point. Think about it. Sure, you have friends you believe are good people and are trying to make the world a better place. But consider humanity as a whole. Look at history. The things we believe to have positive developments in human society were inevitably paid for with the blood and suffering of countless generations. People are entirely reactive. Nothing ever changes unless a critical mass of people are miserable.

Take a moment and wrap your brain around the implications of that simple fact. We are totally incapable of proactively working for the good of humanity. Self-governance, social welfare...none of them came about because it seemed like a good idea to the ruling class. It came about because enough people were being dicked over that they went and killed the fuckers collecting their taxes and tithes. And for a moment, things were good. But soon the revolutionaries (or more likely, their children) became decadent and apathetic. They stopped giving a shit about the people who had less than they did because they had what they wanted. And voila, you have a brand new ruling class. Repeat.

Every human society in history has followed this pattern. At least the ones who had enough resources and became efficient enough to allow for division of labor, an economy, and free time. Every goddamn one. Roman empire. Charlemagne. Byzantine empire. Kingdoms of the middle east. England. Spain. France. Portugal. And now, United States. And just look at the state of national politics to see that we've forgotten the dangers of an entrenched aristocracy and of an insurmountable class divide. This country has taught me that the only thing democracy buys you is a cheering section behind the tyrant.

It's fucking depressing. Every time I read about world events I get this profound sense of disappointment and infuration at humanity. And this, I think, is the fundamental aspect of Carlinism.

"What may sound like anger to some is really nothing more than sympathetic contempt. I view my species with a combination of wonder and pity, and I root for its destruction." -- George Carlin, Brain Droppings

It's just so frustrating. It wouldn't be hard. We could do it. But we don't want to. We prefer to hoard, to demean, and to follow. We are fucktards. Absolute quintessential fucktards.

"...It's not so much individuals, it's about my contempt for the way [people] organize themselves and handle themselves. The contempt is because this species, including the American variety, had a great deal of potential. An incredible higher brain, able to do all these conceptual things beyond just food, eat, shit, fuck. I think that gift from nature has been completely wasted, and the pursuit of power, money, position and objects and possessions…all those things have pushed off the radar the more intelligent aspect of humans." -- George Carlin

I get pissed at people like Karl Rove, Bush, every retard in the Religious Right from Frist to Dobson to Falwell, all the sleazes in corporate America like the Ken Lays of the world, but you know, this last election taught me that it's all the other normal people that enable them to exist. To paraphrase Newton, if the world is ruled by assholes, it is because they stand on the shoulders of giant idiots. All those rat bastards are powerless without the throngs of braindead zombies that support them. All the money people voluntarily give up, money they could use to actually better their community, contribute to the knowledge of the universe, to warm somebody who's cold or feed someone who's hungry, and they fucking give it to Focus on the Family. No one holds a gun to their head. Nothing would happen to them if they didn't make the donation. But they do.

We thought that if we could get rid of the unelected monarchs and make the church more accountable to its congregation, if we could just give the downtrodden a voice, then we could fix it. We could make it better. We thought it was the upper eschelon standing in the way of our inevitable journey to Avalon. But look at what we've done with the world. We blithely poison ourselves and voluntarily give power to the unscrupulous and malevolent. And we fucking deserve the results.

So you know what? I'm just not going to feel guilty any more. I don't care. I'm going to enjoy the ride. I'm not going to feel guilty about not giving money to Second Harvest, not donating blood, not volunteering, none of it. It's a drop in the ocean of ignorance and apathy. Even if we were to make the world a better place, we are too shortsighted and petty not to fuck it all up again anyway. I have one shot at life, and every moment I waste worrying about a scourge of wasted intelligence that has done nothing to justify its viral existence is a tick off my internal clock. Fuck that. There are games to play, Go-Karts to ride, cotton candy to eat, and orgasms to have.

Call me when the world ends. With any luck I'll be laughing too hard to notice.