"Oxygen bars"

There's an oxygen bar in the hotel we're staying in in Frankfurt (airport Sheraton). I knew such things existed, but to actually see one just reminded me how fucking stupid people are. If you're not familiar with the phenomenon, these are bars where people can "purify" their bodies by sitting in a ridiculous-looking seats and breathing pure oxygen. Now, it would be one thing if we were in La Paz or some other god-forsaken remote mountain location that exists despite nature's best effort to make it inhospitable to human life. But we're not. We're at fucking sea level. I assure you, there's more than enough oxygen hanging around. And yet, there are some idiots out there who will pay. FOR AIR. Water I could almost understand given how much shit is in the drinking water these days, except for the minor detail that things like Desani are just tap water from some other polluted tap besides yours. Random useful fact: the water in Desani is exactly the same water used to make Coke and Sprite, bottled at exactly the same plant. Next time you're at the store, look at the relative prices of the two. Then feel retarded for ever even considering buying bottled water.

Anyway. Air. People are paying for air. Fucking AIR. Have I mentioned that people, supposedly in full control of their faculties, walk in, pull out their wallets, and say to the clerk, "Hi! Here's some money. Do you happen to have some extra air? I'd like to purchase some." And being the clever businessmen they are, the oxygen bar owners don't say, "Are you fucking retarded? You want _air_? Have you looked around, you fuckwit? You're surrounded by it!" Instead, they say, "Why yes! We happen to have just gotten a fresh shipment in! You're in luck!" And then the customers walk in, self-satisfied and...breathe.

Not only is there a bar in the hotel, but there's a little oxygen breather in the minibar. Now, normally, I wouldn't care as I don't touch the minibar anyway, and if they can get some idiot business traveller to actually pay six goddamn euros for air...I still can't believe it's fucking AAAAAIIIIIIRRRRRR!!!!!...more power to them, but in this case they idiocy and gullability of other people has caused an otherwise upscale hotel to put a fucking bomb in my minibar. Pure oxygen is flammable, boys and girls. One errant spark and yours truly would find himself splattered all over the roof of the Frankfurt flughafen train station.

And I would have been blown up by stupidity. And that's just not how I want to go. I want a dignified death, like having a heart attack during orgasm.