Randy Pausch

Sadly, I recently learned that Randy Pausch, on whose philosophy I have previously ranted, has terminal cancer and has roughly 3-6 months to live. Yet more proof that the good die young and assholes live forever (see Strom Thurmond, Jesse Helms, etc.).

(Incidentally, his jarringly-described "last lecture" on his philosophy of life will be webcast tomorrow [Tuesday, September 18th] at 4:30 Eastern at mms://wms.andrew.cmu.edu/pushit01. I encourage you to watch. Incidally, you need Windows Media Player to view it.)

Even though I still disagree with a lot of Randy's credo, he's still a really great guy, and what he and his family have and will go through is fucking awful. Listening in the car to George Carlin on the way from Death Valley back to Mountain View yesterday, I was reminded how similar my philosophy on life is similar to Carlin's. Yes, Carlin is a profoundly cynical, sarcastic, nihilistic old coot, but I am reminded once again of something I saw he said in, actually, more than one interview (the quote below is from Salon, which I don't have a membership with):

I'm a disappointed idealist. I think of myself as a skeptic, a realist. I think the cynics are the people who left the gas tank on the Ford Pinto, companies that kill people and just cross them out because they can't afford to retool. That's a cynical position. But the saying goes, if you scratch a cynic, you find a disappointed idealist, and that's what's going on with me. Down deep and underneath, the flame still flickers.

I've always thought that adage, the one about scratching a cynic and finding an idealist, was very true. No one should have to go through what Randy has, especially not someone like Randy. Why is it that Randy gets pancreatic cancer while an asshole like Donald Rumsfeld hasn't had his nuts bitten off by rabid wolverines? I know, I know...the answer is that there isn't any reason. Shit happens.

...which makes me wonder, actually: Randy's the kind of guy who, though he's probably too intelligent to assert that shit only happens to people who don't make sure it doesn't, would probably nonetheless assert that shit happening is merely an obstacle to get around on the way to achieving whatever it is you want to achieve. But what happens when the shit that happens to you is too big to get around? What if it's some "Game Over" shit like pancreatic cancer?

I dunno...I imagine what he would say is that, in the face of something that could prematurely end your life, it's all the more important to be efficient about achieving whatever it is you want to achieve. But still, I reassert the point I made in my earlier post: maybe it's the case that a guy like Randy actively enjoys the process of organizing and efficiently regimenting his life in pursuit of his goals, but what of the rest of us? What if it's the case that you hate that regimentation? Does the fragility of life not suggest that you spend at least _some_ of your time in this mortal coil dicking around and spontaneously enjoying yourself lest the opportunity pass you by? Isn't there a profound, important difference between putting a calendar item in Outlook that says, "Enjoy life" and waking up on a Wednesday and saying to yourself, "You know what? Today, I'm going to have a milkshake for breakfast, play Zelda, and then do whatever comes to mind after that. Fuck the rest of the world."?