Cultural evolution

I just had an important discussion that has advanced the state of popular culture, and I feel it should be summarized here for posterity lest it be lost to the mists of history (it was too long to include verbatim).

I was commenting on my already well-documented love of the phrase "douchenozzle." It was pointed out to me that this is really a term that can justifiably be applied only to guys, which is true. I proposed that the shortened "nozzle" might be a more fitting general purpose derogatory term with less of a gender-specific connotation that still maintains the feel of the full "douchenozzle." A vote was held, and the motion carried. Henceforth, please begin referring to people that annoy you as "nozzles."

For variety, you can also refer to people as "fucknozzles." It's longer and more satisfying (that's what she said?...), and has more of the spitting staccato that you want out of a swear. Example:

"Nick, you're such a retard..."

"Hey, you know what? You can go fuck yourself, you fucking fucknozzle."

See? It's fantastic.

There was, incidentally, a final twist in the conversation that led to an agreement that Fucknozzle sounds like a character you would find on "Muppets After Dark." Can't you just picture Kermit, Ms. Piggy, Fozzy, and Fucknozzle hanging around a dark alley smoking cigarettes? Or maybe they're holding an intervention for Fucknozzle. That seems strangely appropriate.