Snack food trucks collide

Tragic deliciousness?

You're doing it too slow!

Remember kids: it's cool to abstain from voting!

When you vote for someone, you're voting for every position they've ever taken. Yeah. Think about it.

Internet porn and you

In which I torture those I care most about

me: Oh man...these are some good pancakes...

1:14 PM Man, I can't even imagine my life without these pancakes

Your life must feel so empty right now

Sitting there...no pancakes...

1:15 PM Wondering what the point of going on is...

1:17 PM I'm sure it seems dark right now, but something will show up in your life

1:18 PM Though admittedly I don't know what could fill the emotional void left by not having pancakes...

1:19 PM No one would blame you if you just felt like ending it all

1:20 PM Choosing sweet, sweet release instead of an unending pancake-less agony

1:21 PM I'd take M. No point in taking him down with the sinking ship that is your life.

1:22 PM Look, I'm just trying to help.

5 minutes

1:28 PM j: hahahahahahahahahaha

finally! it wasn't me who lost my mind in the IM ether

1:30 PM me: If you do decide to, like, slit your wrists, be sure to do it right. Remember: rippy the razor says it's down the block, not across the street. I'm just saying. Would want you to fail at that just like you've failed at everything else...

j: so what the fuck did you want again?

1:32 PM me: You to come to terms with your pancake-less life

1:36 PM Even big girls need to cry sometimes. It's ok, J.

j: yawn stretch

oh are you still here?

1:37 PM me: Even really big girls...

hide

1:38 PM Though sometimes they cry butter.

1:39 PM Which would be ok if you had pancakes.

Which you don't.

8 minutes

1:48 PM j: HORRIBLE

HORRIBLWE

HORRIBLE

HORRIBLE

HORRIBLE

FUCK YOU

AND YOUR PANCAKES

Sophie can walk

Things to say during sex

Click to expand.

(thanks to J)

Today in "Private conversations made public for your amusement"

K: it really scares me that sarah palin doesn't support abortion even in the case of incest or rape
N: hi, have you met the republican party?
K: still
K: incest I get ... clearly she likes her kids severly retarded
N: hehehehe
K: but rape?
N: you're awesome. Have I mentioned that recently?
K: no
K: thanks

Child who is his own laugh track

Seriously, who laughs like this? :)

Translating cats

The original:

One proposed translation:

A more likely translation:

Over-educated nerd humor

Dude, if you actually get this _and_ the reference it's making, you are way, way, WAY over-educated. (and yes, I do, and yes, I am)

There are different kinds of hurt

*sniff*...

DNC schedule

Courtesy O. :)

Patriotism

Another in our series on "private IM conversations made public for your amusement":

C: after watching the olympics i feel the need to be more american. i think i'll go amass a few grand in credit card debt
Me: that's the spirit!
C: gold plated napkin dispenser? how could i possibly live without it?
Me: better go on a hoveround though...don't want to be burning any extra calories
C: good point
C: although i'll need some chrome on my hoveround
C: who am i kidding though, if i'm gonna build up credit card debt its all going on hookers and booze
C: not necessarily in that order. but probably
Me: I recommend the booze first
C: heres my thinking - in the beginning i'll have the high priced hookers. i dont need to be drunk for those. as i get poorer and dip down to the $10 street whores - then i'll need to be hammered
Me: ok, nevermind...clearly you've thought this out already.
C: obviously

Caution: more doggie porn

Dear GOD I am so easily amused. Midnight on a Friday night and this is what I've sunk to.

You have to admit though...whoever came up with the concept after observing that in the neighbor's garden deserves an emmy.

Proof-positive there is too much sex in music videos

Tiddy Bear!

Heh...hehehe...hehehehehehe...Tiddy Bear...hehe...

Defending yourself against 20 children

Thank you! Finally a _practical_ piece of information on the internet.

I Google myself

This guy almost makes me want to go gay. :-D

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