Goodbye, Tivo

Dear Tivo,

It's been a good several years, but I think it's time we went our separate ways. You served me well, and you were there to soothe me when I stupidly tried to use the profoundly shitful DVR that DISH gives you. You recorded my Daily Shows, my Colbert Reports, and most especially my Battlestar Galacticas. You let me transfer shows to my old laptop to watch while on planes. Perhaps most importantly, you let me skim over the commercials. For this, I will be forever grateful for your cartoon-sounding servitude.

But lately, well, we seem to have been growing apart. We're just in different places, you and I. I upgraded to HDTV, and you wanted $800 to be able to record HD shows. And as if that weren't bad enough, you wouldn't let me transfer those shows to my laptop any more. I was hurt. Betrayed. And to top it all off, I discovered you petulantly refused to let me transfer shows to my mac. You started insisting that I buy Roxio software in order to do the same thing on my mac that I did for free on a PC.

Deep down, I know you still care about me. Somewhere in there is still the upstart little box that wanted to help me subvert the advertisers. But you've changed. Now you sell viewing information to those same advertisers. And, well, I...I just can't be with you any more. So, I've canceled my service.

I wish you well. I really do. I hope you find success and happiness, but honestly, I think you're doomed if you follow your current path. I'm with another DVR now...one that will do HD. For $10 a month. We met through Millenium. Sure, it's not as good...a sad imitation of you, really. But, it treats me with respect. And that's important to me. Some day you'll understand that.

So, this is goodbye. Thanks for all the good times. I will think of you often.

Love,
Nick