Skippy's List

A classic that seems to be enjoying a resurgence. :)

Personal favorites:

29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.

31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.

33. Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
34. (Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I *did* bring enough for everybody.

36. Can’t have flashbacks to wars I was not in. (The Spanish-American War isn’t over).

54. “Napalm sticks to kids” is *not* a motivational phrase.

65. There are no evil clowns living under my bed.

79. I am neither the king nor queen of cheese.

99. A smiley face is not used to mark a minefield.

100. Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.

129. The Microsoft ® “Dancing Paperclip” is not authorized to countermand any orders.

145. I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.
146. Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.

191. Our Humvees cannot be assembled into a giant battle-robot.