Castro

According to the History channel, we tried to do the following to Castro:

• invade him
• get his girlfriend to give him botulism
  
• get his lawyer to give him a scuba suit infected with not one but two deadly biological agents
• pack a mollusk with enough explosives to kill him
• 634 other weird assassination attempts
  

Man, we're fucking assholes. No wonder that guy is so angry and bitter.

Also, rather unrelatedly, after the Soviet Union launched Laika into space, they launched Belka and Strelka, also dogs. Strelka had puppies after returning to earth, and one of them was named Pushinka. Pushinka was then given to Caroline Kennedy, JFK's daughter, as a gift (inevitably kind of a "fuck you" gift, I have to imagine). Before Caroline could have Pushinka, the CIA had to screen Pushinka to make sure she was not a Soviet spy dog. I have to wonder how that interrogation went.

"WHERE ARE YOUR ALLIANCES?!"

"*turned-head, ears-up, inquisitive doggy look*"

"TALK!"

"Woof!"

"Don't fuck with me, dog! We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way!"

"*licks ass*"

Interestingly, one of JFK's other dogs boned Pushinka, and she had puppies that JFK referred to as pupniks.

Who says you don't learn anything on television?