Schadenfreude

I know it makes me a bad person, but I take surprisingly immense satisfaction from the comeuppance just doled out to the first-time parents on the documentary I just watched. Mom and dad are (inevitably Republican) Florida douchenozzles. Mom energetically told the camera, "I go for long walks every day because it's going to keep me limber and give me an easier birth!" and insisted on an "all-natural" water birth. Dad explained that while mom was going through the pain of childbirth, he had to endure the pain of giving up his vintage Porsche in favor of the more "family friendly" Hummer.

Mom's mom wrung her hands about the water birth saying, "You know, sweety, at the hospital if the pain becomes too much, they inject you with drugs and the pain goes away. At the birthing center, there are no drugs." Ditzy mom replies, "Oh mom, it will be fine! It will be wonderful!"

Cut to delivery. 9 hours of labor and still not ready to push. Expression on mom's face says, "OOOHHHHH! When you said it hurts, you meant it fucking _hurts_!" Mom is screaming. Nick gets immense satisfaction from the suffering of Ms. Twinkle Tits who didn't have the goddamn humility to think to herself, "Maybe I should listen to the woman who had three children when she tells me it's going to be a level of pain that causes anything else I have experienced in my young, spoiled life to pale in comparison."

People: anesthesia is the greatest discovery of modern science. Use it, you twits.