Well, there's good news and bad news

The good news is that I'm slowly acclimating to Chinese time.
The bad news is that I am not, nor do I have any specific plans to be, in China.

Sigh.

The porn vote

...and this kind of genius, boys and girls, is why Stephen Colbert now has his own show.

Say it ain't so!

You mean...Google is the next Microsoft? And it's a monopoly? And it's engaged in monopoly maintenance? But...but...Google isn't supposed to be evil!

Chickens of doooooooom!

Zombie chickens!

The terror that is Santa

For some reason, I find this set of pictures of children terrified of Santa deeply satisfying.

Chuck Norris and technicians

1. Guide to technician terminology
2. Facts about Chuck Norris

Allow me to highlight a few of the latter:

• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
• Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
• Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

Every Playmate of the Month in the history of Playboy

Obviously, NSFW.

Very surreal.

Ewwww.

There was an episode of X-files like this.

It's a tossup whether the insects or the fungus are more creepy.

Science is cool

I'm sorry, but this is a really cool video of the sun. I know that makes me a nerd, but really, what doesn't these days?

Silly string: the difference between life or death

Support our troops: send them silly string today!

Your daily douchebag (12/1/06)

Today's douchebag: Walter E. Williams.
The winning entry today managed to compare social welfare programs to slavery. For that, Mr. Williams, you are our Douchebag of the Day!

"Most of what Congress does fits the description of forcing one American to serve the purposes of another American. That description differs only in degree, but not in kind, from slavery."

Local students make good

The Nike/iPod stuff seems to be getting a good deal of press coverage. These are fellow students and in my security class with me. Go them. :)

It's all downhill

In the past few days, I've

• Played ping-pong
• Edited something on Wikipedia
• Made a reference to Kobayashi Maru

Apparently, I'm slowly making my way through every verse of Weird Al's White and Nerdy.

I hate being a stereotype. *sigh*.

50 worst? Really?

I take issue with your list, sir. You're really going to put Yanni ahead of Mick Jagger? Really? I mean, I'm not a huge Stones fan, but still...Yanni???

Frightening

I agree with a surprising amount of this David Brooks op-ed (TimesSelect...sorry).

Scary.

When the hampsters rise up against us, they're going to kick this guy's ass

Some people have way, way, WAY too much time on their hands...

...and today's douchebag is:

Dennis Prager! Go Dennis! What does he win? Well, boys and girls, he wins a shiny new can of "Shut the Fuck Up!" (from the makers of "God, you really are a douchebag, aren't you?").

There's this cute little thing we have in this American culture of ours you think you're protecting. It's called the Constitution. Maybe you've heard of it? If not, allow me to point out article 6:

...The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.

That's pretty much as close as the Constitution can reasonable come to contradicting you, Mr. Prager, without explicitly saying, "Prager, you're a douchebag, and you're full of shit, so take your head out of your ass, and go home." The Framers kind of frowned on that kind of language though.

Silly superhero name generator

Henceforth, you may refer to me as Emperor Bootylicious. That or Path Mollusk. Ooh...I also like Commander Grope. And there's something about Penguin Searphim that appeals to me. Also, Alissa said you can refer to her as Platypus Vixen. No, really...she did. I swear. O:-)

Others from my first generating attempt:
Brushon
Charmroach
Cream Flunkie
Disoriented Blast
Drool Commander
Drunkborg
Emperor Bootylicious
Flopspider
Idiotsaur
Lash Whiner
Mistress Yawn
Path Mollusk
Polka Wheezer
Poodle Psychic
Professor Tricycle
Queen Mollusk
Sacred Scooter
Saint Yodel
Sergeant Haribrush
Shockpuffin
Sneezefire
Stitchyell
Veil Yawner
Vixen Gecko
Wig Crusher

Gingrich = douchebag

Yup. Gingrich. Douchebag. Enough said.

Some songs shouldn't exist

Or rather, some covers are a crime against nature.