Jack Thompson: disbarred

Aaaannnnddddd WHEEEEEE!

He's dead! He's dead! Okay, he's not dead, but his dumb ass is disbarred.

And I love that he immediately tried to file an appeal. And the Supreme Court said, "Hey! Jackass! You're not a lawyer any more, remember?"

DNC nausea

Ugh. I'm already sick of the DNC Convention. The ridiculous flag-waving, "pick yourself up by yer bootstraps!", "The American Dream is still alive!" narrative is making me fucking nauseous. It's absolutely what they have to do, but it's such pandering bullshit.

"One Possible Explanation"

Penny Arcade's take on Jack Thompson:

Jack Thompson: still an asshole

Not worth another Daily Douchebag, but just in case you were wondering: yup, Jack Thompson is still an asshole.

Standards

Okay, seriously...if we somehow agree that it's not okay for 16-year-olds to vote, why the fuck can't we agree that it's not okay for retards to vote?

...and before you object, remember that not only do they believe that Obama is an anti-American Muslim, they also _said so to a reporter_.

Your daily douchebag (5/5/08)

You know, every time I swear I'm not going to give Jack Thompson another Daily Douchebag, he does something that brings douchebaggery to an entirely new level.

"Hmm...I've said pretty much every douchbaggy thing that could ever be said...how can I add that extra 'oomph!' that says, '_That_ man is no ordinary douchebag. Truly, he is a titan among douchebags!'? I know! Instead of sending a threatening email to my adversary, send it to his mother!"

Fuck Clinton redux

Okay, I now officially hate Hillary Clinton. What utter, pandering, anti-intellectual, Republican horse shit. This is exactly the same kind of "Fuck the 'experts' and their 'knowledge' and 'intimate understanding of all the relevant details'" crap that turned Iraq into the shit-storm it now is.

I never thought there would be anything that would cause me to not vote against a Republican, but this is getting _very_ close...

Your daily douchebag (02/10/08)

...to Oklahoma State Rep. Sally Kern. Not just for being a homophobic douchenozzle, but for being recorded being a homophobic douchenozzle.

Bad McCain

No biscuit.

Superstupid Superdelegates

Okay. I admit it. In this one instance, the Republicans got something right that the Democrats fucked up.

I refer, of course, to the Democratic institution of "superdelegates." You can read all about it here in Wikipedia, but basically superdelegates were a mechanism to maintain the power of the party leadership. Period. These Democratic leaders decided they didn't like, you know, democracy. So, being all-wise, they decided that their vote should count more than the Democratic electorate. You know...all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others. That kind of thing. Orwell would be proud.

There are many ironies here. The first and most obvious is that the Democratic party is un-democratic. The second is that the rules were changed in response to the results of the 1980 election. In the 1984 election, the sage leaders of the party overrode the popular vote to nominate...Walter Mondale. Who, as we all know, went on to great fame and fortune having soundly defeated the re-election attempt of Ronald Reagan.

.....

Right.

And now, it's looking like there's a strong possibility that superdelegate support for Hillary Clinton is going to override popular support for Barack Obama. Yet again, the superdelegate system is going to prop up the entrenched aristocracy of the Democratic party in the form of Clinton party loyalists. The same people, let's remember, who managed to cede Congressional control to the Republicans in 1994 and orchestrate spectacular losses to George W. Bush. Twice.

Allow me to reiterate that because it's important: They lost to the dumbest and most corrupt Republican figure in modern history. Twice.

It was only when Howard Dean took over party leadership that they managed to barely scrape together a majority (with no small amount of help from spectacular Republican implosions).

Now, that system has worked so well that they're going to wave their hands dismissively at the first Democratic figure in my lifetime who has traditionally Republican voters considering supporting him in favor of the one figure in America whose name alone can reliably raise the blood pressure of half the country by at least 30 points.

God, the ineptitude of the modern Democratic party is staggering...

Jon Stewart's choice words for Mitt Romney

Lest you labor under any delusion that Mitt Romney is anything but an utter and complete douchenozzle:

Bill Maher's dickheads of the year

Bill Maher is kind of an asshole, but he's an asshole whose opinions I often agree with. And the commentary in the list is priceless. Case in point:

Sen. David Vitter

"Even more disgusting than Craig. Caught dead to rights as a customer of the D.C. Madam, and explained it away by saying, "Several years ago I received forgiveness from God in confession." Oh, well, all righty then, it's all good, then you're obviously not a disgusting, horrible hypocrite who runs on family values and then fucks whores at home and in Washington."

Fuck Apple

Despite being a relatively recent Apple convert, they still do things that piss me off. Case in point: if you want to upgrade the amount of RAM in your MacBook Pro, you can either order from Apple, or you can order the same goddamn thing from someone else for almost 1/4 the price.

The fuckers are taking advantage of the fact that people don't know any better to charge a 300-400% markup!

What the hell happened to arbitrage? If free markets worked, shouldn't this shit not happen?

Your daily douchebag (12/12/07)

A DD to Representative Steve King (R-IA) for introducing this gem of a House Resolution. Admittedly, it should probably be shared by the entire House for passing such horse shit.

What's the matter, Steve? No more condiments left to rename in the House cafeteria?

Idiots...

George W. Bush: Still an asshole

Censoring scientific research that didn't agree with his policies?  Check.

Russia votes early and often

Lest you delude yourself into thinking Putin was democratically elected...

Romney squirms

Wow...two amazing things about this clip:

1. You can watch Romney flip-flop in front of your very eyes in the span of one minute!
2. To see how stupid Huckabee's and Hunter's argument is, pretend for a minute they were talking about black people in the military.  The argument is not one iota different.

Venezuelans vote

Alternative article title: "How stupid are the Venezuelan people?"

Also, doesn't the whole "vilify an external power for political gain" thing sound vaguely familiar?

Your daily douchebag (11/28/07)

A long overdue DD (maybe it should be douchenozzle now?) to the distinguished Karl Rove. The Prince of Darkness hasn't really been in the spotlight lately. Then he came out with this gem.

Apparently, it was the Democrats who were in such a big goddamn rush to go to war in Iraq while Bush, level-headed, patient leader that he is, wanted to delay the Iraq vote until after the November elections so as not to, you know, politicize it.

Wow.

Is lying instinctual at this point for him? Does he lie about pointless stuff just out of habit? Like, does he just immediately answer, "Lucky charms!" when you ask him what he had for breakfast, regardless of what he actually had? I have no doubt he could pass any lie detector test on anything at this point. My question is whether there's any distinction left in that swirling vortex of evil that is his brain between his manufactured reality and the...oh, hell, what's it called?...truth.

Just...wow.

Daily Douchebag (11/26/07)

...and a hearty, "Hey! Fuck you!" to, well, to both President Bush and the National Review for taking credit for something that, not only did they not help facilitate, but more realistically did their best to impede.

Why? Well, maybe you heard about the recent effort to turn skin cells into stem cells. Apparently, at least according to the White House and the National Review, yeah, that was all Bush. Because apparently politicizing science and nixing basic science funding really inspired those guys to do their best work.

What a fucking douchenozzle...