The solution to all our problems: Copyright Czar!

The financial industry is collapsing, the stock market is tanking, and this is what the Senate does with its time?

For fuck's sake...

Jack Thompson: disbarred

Aaaannnnddddd WHEEEEEE!

He's dead! He's dead! Okay, he's not dead, but his dumb ass is disbarred.

And I love that he immediately tried to file an appeal. And the Supreme Court said, "Hey! Jackass! You're not a lawyer any more, remember?"

Has the Large Hadron Collider destroyed the earth yet?

Find out at http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/!

Thoughtful political commentary: Fuck Critical Mass

Yes, it's kind of a bit far to go to piss off people who, well, piss you off, but I do deeply appreciate the irony here. This is exactly the kind of result I expected out of those retarded Critical Mass protests. You pissed off a guy enough to get injunctions against bike lanes, and you got in an all-out brawl with a driver in downtown Seattle; well done, guys! You're winning hearts and minds!

The best take on Orson Scott Card's departure on the 9:15 to Crazy Town

Surprisingly, by Cracked. Probably my favorite line:

"I mean, I understand a devout Mormon having some issues with gayness, but when your brain tells you that it’s an important enough issue to divide the country in a bloody coup, it’s time to get a new brain."

Darwin at work again

Sigh. I don't even need to say anything, do I?

From the "You couldn't make this shit up if you tried" files...

Iran sucks at Photoshop.

Oooh...rain_bows_...

We must retake our country, people! The government is now resorting to, uhh, rainbows! Rainbows!!!

(thank you J)

Lava surfing

Certain things are very obviously bad ideas. This happens to be one of them.

A Biblical depiction of history

"One Possible Explanation"

Penny Arcade's take on Jack Thompson:

Jack Thompson: still an asshole

Not worth another Daily Douchebag, but just in case you were wondering: yup, Jack Thompson is still an asshole.

Standards

Okay, seriously...if we somehow agree that it's not okay for 16-year-olds to vote, why the fuck can't we agree that it's not okay for retards to vote?

...and before you object, remember that not only do they believe that Obama is an anti-American Muslim, they also _said so to a reporter_.

You're all sick little monkeys

For fuck's sake people...what the hell is wrong with you? That shit was posted two _months_ ago, and it still constitutes 40 goddamn percent of the traffic to this blog! Good lord! There's much better porn out there, I swear!

Hippy pop medicine

Comment by airhead hippy midwife on Discovery Health documentary:

"Water: nature's epidural! Tee hee!"

Umm...no. No. I'm sorry, no. Just...just...no.

God...damn...hipp-ays!!!...

I am not dead

Though I felt like I was close in Saturday night when I got food poisoning. Bleh.

No, I am home, and my internet access is dead, and it will probably stay dead for at least a few more days. Right now my computer is on top of my car "borrowing" a neighbors open access point.

Hopefully I'll be back soon.

The French are dumb

We rename side dishes, they ban the use of ubiquitous words because they sound too English-y. And stupidity knows no borders...

The universe making it absolutely, crystal clear that the Spears family is trailer trash

Yup. 16-year-old sis is preggers. Awesome.

"It was a shock for both of us, so unexpected," Jamie Lynn told OK!, according to the Associated Press. "I was in complete and total shock and so was he."

Okay, you had sex, right? And I'm guessing you used no form of protection? And you're 16? Yeah. No, I can totally see why that would be unexpected...

Update: AH-HAHAHAHAHAhahahaha...

Predictable

A boy scout leader who was vehemently anti-gay turns out to have molested little boys?!  Why, I never would have guessed!!!

*bangs head against wall*

Will everyone who is vocally homophobic just come out and admit to yourselves and us that you're gay so we can save each other an enormous amount of stress and frustration?  'k thx.

Let them eat OLPC!

Hear, hear! Glad to see someone whose opinion seems to be more valued than mine seems to agree.