A sentence summary of all the Star Trek films

Because I was accused of sending a nerdy email today, to which I indignantly respond, "I have no yet begun to nerd!" Also, primarily for the benefit of my girlfriend, who has, perhaps fortunately, never seen a single one.

Some of these aren't even full sentences!

1. Take some acid, wig out on the trippiest special effects the late 70s had to offer, and be amused by the twist ending. (memorable quote: "V'Ger!")
   
2. A battle of overacting between James T. Kirk and an over-the-top, Shakespeare-quoting villain. (memorable quote: "KKHHHHHHAAAAAAAANNNNN!!!")
   
3. Steal a spaceship, battle some Klingons, and go revive an essential cast member. (memorable quote: "That green-blooded son of a bitch! It's his revenge for all the arguments he lost.")
4. Whales and time travel...'nuff said. (memorable quote: "We are looking for da nuclear wessels.")
   
5. The crew of the Enterprise join a cult and go looking for God in the center of the universe. (memorable quote: "Be one with the horse.")
6. A moon blows up, Klingons realized they're fucked, peace talks begin, and certain parties are none to happy about it. (memorable quote: "You have not experienced Shakespeare until you have read him in the original Klingon.")
7. Malcolm McDowell zealously pursues the happiest, sparkliest zipper in the universe. (memorable quote: "Actually, Captain, I am familiar with history. And if I'm not mistaken, you're dead. ")
8. Bill Gates...sorry, I mean a group of insect-like cyborgs...try to fuck up the drunk who built the first warp drive by traveling back in time. (memorable quote: "Definitely not Swedish...")
   
9. Ugly people take out their frustrations on less ugly people. (memorable quote: "The Son'a wish to negotiate a cease-fire. It may have to do with the fact that we only have three minutes of air left.")
10. The Enterprise fucks with a big fuck-all tank of a spaceship built by angry people in desperate need of a tan. (memorable quote: "Ladies and gentlemen and invited transgender species...")
11. ???

...and for the record, 6 is still my favorite. And I'm still angry that all the Next Generation movies (7-10) sucked so incredibly badly. The series finale was better than all of them, probably combined.

God help you, J. J. Abrams, if you end up adding yet another shitty movie to the franchise.