His _third_ penis?

You know, I love the mental image of this guy coming home to his wife, her taking one look, and going, "Alright. That's it. Check please!"

(thanks J)

Electronic voting

Tomb Raider redux

I'm a little disturbed by how long I just spent staring at this:



On the plus side, it's moments like these that I think to myself, "Yeah, I'm pretty damn sure I'm not gay..." (and please spare me the "Who are you trying to convince?..." comments...look at her for chrissakes!)

Umm, yes please?

*drools, paws at air...*

Disturbia

Man, if there were ever a video that didn't match a song, it's Disturbia. The video looks like it was shot for a Marilyn Manson song and then switched to a Rihanna dance ditty at the last second. Ugh. I'm going to pretend I never watched that...

The best take on Orson Scott Card's departure on the 9:15 to Crazy Town

Surprisingly, by Cracked. Probably my favorite line:

"I mean, I understand a devout Mormon having some issues with gayness, but when your brain tells you that it’s an important enough issue to divide the country in a bloody coup, it’s time to get a new brain."

Cooties

I forget whether I posed this:

Vagina

Well, it's true...

Important boob-related research

I'm so glad someone out there is doing the truly important research...

I've...developed a taste...

I love this...

First motivational poster I've ever liked

Darwin at work again

Sigh. I don't even need to say anything, do I?

Perception versus reality

I seem to have to explain to every girl I meet (at least the ones that fret over their body, which is most of them) that their perception is skewed. I had known that men's ideal female body is more curvy than women's, but this article (mildly nsfw) provided a very nice, visual summary of it.

Ladies: you're hot, and we like you naked. End of story. :)

Please, girls, don't ever do this

From British Cosmo (scanned charitably by K). This is _so_ not okay. Click to zoom.

Perhaps the best definition of porn ever

N: and you damn well know what porn is
L: ...
L: i'd still like to hear you explain it
N: when a man loves a woman...
N: sometimes he wants to see that woman naked
N: with a horse
L: HA
L: oh i spit out my gum!
L: like, flew at the wall. damn you

Ingenious social engineering story from Kevin Mitnick

Genius. Also assholic, but genius.

Hyperbole gone wrong

Is it me, or it is absurdly hyperbolic to title this article the, "Most Creative Sex Positions Ever!!!" I mean...really? Knees up on the edge of the kitchen counter is one of them. I really don't think it takes all _that_ much creativity to come up with that one. Next they'll be suggesting the lady be on top, and surely then their readers will be "ovuh-come with the vay-pahs"...

For fuck's sake (literally?) even Wikipedia can come up with something weirder. Cosmo, you're not even trying any more...

Goat schadenfreude

I take a sick amount of pleasure in this video. God, how many annoying children have I wanted to do that to?

God bless you, karma goat.

Petting Zoo Goat Slams Kid - Watch more free videos

What happens when I get bored

I went to the Bite of Seattle today and got funnel cake (mmmm...funnel cake...) and in a moment of...well, _me_...went up to the "Lost Kids" booth where two attractive young women were looking quite bored, pulled out my wallet, and asked, "So, how much do lost kids go for these days?" Hey, I brought them smoothies too...it's not like I was just making their life hard. To their credit they played along, although they made no effort to keep me engaged in conversation when I quickly made leaving motions lest it look like a lame excuse to talk to pretty girls (which, admittedly, it kind of was).

It's good to know that I haven't gained any sanity since my youth...

The Onion: Horrifyingly prescient

Note the date.