Driving directions from Chicago to London

Hehehehe...note step 20.

It scares me that people buy this stuff

Sometimes I think to myself, "No, they can't really be that crazy." But yeah, yeah...they are. I saw the banner ad to the left on some right wing nutjob web site.

You know, I'm pretty sure Jesus was never armed. Granted, there are some parts of the Bible I haven't read, but it just seems, I dunno, out of character...

Viacom vs. YouTube (i.e., Google)

Viacom fires. Google responds.

I still think Google is boned. There is no fundamental difference between the Napster case and the YouTube case. Both were centrally controlled services hosting arbitrary content. Neither one themselves posted infringing content, but both derived their business model from pirated content. If Google's argument rests on the DMCA's safe harbor provisions alone, that should have been enough to save Napster, and it wasn't. I think the argument is going to rest much more on the Betamax-ish question of "significant non-infringing use." In other words, the only hope Google has is to argue that there's sufficient non-pirated content on YouTube to justify the site's existence independent of all the tv shows. Which, actually, is not beyond the realm of possibility, but it's not at all clear cut.

Incidentally, it's not that I want Google to lose, per se. Every argument by the media conglomerates about the civic importance of intellectual property is horse-shit. If the RIAA and the MPAA went away tomorrow, artistic development would do just fine thank you, and our economy would be just dandy too (by the way). They're just hoarding, and they don't like the idea of someone muscling in on their territory. At the same time though, Google these days seems to define the term "hubris," and I would love to see them dragged back to reality. You know, the place where the rest of us live where there are actual laws and companies are actually responsible for making money (instead of being paid by starry-eyed fucktard bankers to dick around all day)?

Hey Microsoft

Fuck you.

Seriously, I'll be you anything if you actually look at the demographics, it's a combination of young gamers and older gamers who are nostalgic for, oh, say, Zelda. Plus, their controllers are just plain better, and that's going to make their games better. It's almost like they're, I dunno, _innovating_ where Microsoft is being their boring, copycat, douchebag-y selves?

Really good testing answers

A variant of something I've seen before, but still entertaining. :)

What the hell is going on?

I thought I was a systems person. Really, I did. In fact, that's what my NSF fellowship says I'm doing.

So why is it that I'm the teaching assistant for the undergraduate security course? And why the hell is my one textbook for class this quarter entitled, "DNA Science"? I don't know anything about security, and I sure as hell don't know anything about DNA.

What the fuck is going on? Am I going to wake up in church tomorrow as well? Leading a group of 4H-ers?

People banned from SNL

Interesting list of people banned from SNL. Most of them seem like douchebags who deserved it.

Ask a ninja

These guys just won Best Series of 2006 on YouTube. I think I actually prefer Chad Vader slightly, but these guys aren't too bad...

Rapex

*wince*

Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow.

Nice to have a defense, but...ow. Ow ow. Ow.

360 + beer or PS3?

Perhaps the simplest and most brilliant marketing statement ever.

Silversphere

Another Flash game you will waste astounding amounts of time on.

Fuck Sony. Go Microsoft.

'nuff said. :)

Porn from the inside

Not _that_ inside. Eww. Sicko.

I mean, a guy detailing some of his experiences working as the webmaster for an adult site. Very entertaining. Also, you will never be able to listen to "Mary Had a Little Lamb" ever again.

Ever.

Missionary Positions

Not as titillating as you'd hope, I'm afraid. It's a documentary on these two "Jesus is radical!!!"-types who go on a mission...literally...to convince people that porn is bad.

You know, at least they're not going to places like Vegas and Amsterdam and holding up signs telling people that they're going to burn in hell for liking porn, but still...putting a pretty face on fear and ignorance of basic human sexuality doesn't make it any better. It's the 21st fucking century...at what point are people going to finally accept that sex is a fundamental part of human existence and focus on trying to make it more emotionally fulfilling and positive instead of telling them that Jesus doesn't like them if they don't reserve sex for marriage (and even then, we'd prefer primarily for popping out an unsustainable number of children, please)?

You'd hope that at least going to Amsterdam and Vegas would open up their narrow little worldview, but I guess it just reinforces their image of the darker side of sex. They'd have to actually hang out with normal people who have positive, long-term sexual relationships and might even...gasp...watch explicit movies with their partners.

Eep! Blasphemy...

As an aside, this list of free, online documentaries is a _fantastic_ place to waste a huge amount of time. I'm looking at you, Mich...

Your daily douchebag (3/21/07)

Today's Daily Douchebag is, unsurprisingly, Tony Snow. Tony is another one of those characters whom one hesitates to only dedicate a single day to given his ambient, pervasive douchebaggery, but today's poignant hypocrisy earns him the award.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he's complicit in Bush's attempt to do exactly what he condemned Clinton for doing given that's pretty much the M.O. of the entire Bush administration, but it still earns him a Daily Douchebag.

Planarity

Cool game. Got to level 4 before my brain started to hurt.

If it's true that, on average, men do better at spatial tasks, it seems like this would be one of those tests where men should do better.

Air traffic control quotes

I don't believe for a second most of these purported air traffic control quotes are real, but they're still funny.

Allegedly the German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark,... and I didn't land."

Easiest refutation ever

Nice cheap thesis to generate controversy.

Hey, quick question: has any computer you've ever used worked well? Known anyone who had a virus/spyware problem?

No? Okay, cool...I guess you're right. Computers do everything we'll ever need them to do. Guess I'll quit and go raise puppies.

The other shoe drops

Anyone even vaguely paying attention has been waiting for this to happen.

How much did Google pay for YouTube, again? :)

XKCD

XKCD may be the best web comic since Penny Arcade.

And I'm still laughing my ass off about this one. It's so very...Stephen Colbert.

Weirdest. Fetish. Ever.

Okay, I knew there was fetish for everything, but this is ridiculous. And disturbing.

He has a _girlfriend_. _How_? Why? Who dates that guy?

The closest we'll get to an exorcist

I am amused...apparently priests in Guatemala feel the need to purify a site of the evil spirits left there by a visit from George Bush. :)

Why I haven't been posting

...because there's nothing fucking interesting happening. To bring you up to speed:

• Bush is still retarded and the worst president in our nation's history
  
• Cheney is evil and an asshole (I'll leave it to you to figure out how one could be evil and not an asshole)
• The Democrats are depressing, impotent, etc.
• Iraq sucks
• Iran sucks
• Sports are boring
• Microsoft can't make software
• Google is arrogant
• Life has no meaning without Zelda

I think that covers it.

Global dimming

Hey! Being scared shitless by global warming is old hat at this point. Need a new frightening climatological trend to frighten the bejeesus out of you? I give you...global dimming!

Never underestimate the power of boobs

Boobs are clearly a force for great good in the world...

Boogity Boogity!

The entire world can see whatever information you put in your Facebook entry.

Yeah?

And?

Barenaked Ladies and dancing 'round the world

1. Matt is my new favorite person, and
2. Below is the best music video idea ever

The Barenaked Ladies apparently got together all these well known YouTube-y quasi-celebrities (e.g., the Numa Numa guy) and just had them do stuff and be themselves for the music video. Awesome. :)

Nigga please!

Oh well done. I'm sure now that New York has (symbolically) banned the word "nigger," everybody will stop using it. And they'll get along better. And puppies will shit rainbows.

For fuck's sake people...stop trying to control language. Just fucking stop it. Ok? It has never worked. Ever. And it's arrogant, and irritating. I defer to Reverend Carlin:

"There's a different group to get pissed off at you in this country for everything your not supposed to say. Can't say Nigger, Boogie, Jig, Jigaboo, Skinhead, Mooli, moolinyon, Schvatzit, Junglebunny. Greaser, Greaseball, Dago, Guinea, Whop, Ginzo, Kike, Zebe, Heed, Yid, Mocky, Himie, Mick, Donkey, Turkey, Limey, Frog. Zip, Zipperhead, Squarehead, Crout, Hiney, Jerry, Hun, Slope, Slopehead, Chink, Gook. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of those words in and of themselves. They're only words. It's the context that counts. It's the user. It's the intention behind the words that makes them good or bad. The words are completely neutral. The words are innocent. I get tired of people talking about bad words and bad language. Bullshit! It's the context that makes them good or bad. The context. That makes them good or bad. For instance, you take the word "nigger." There is absolutely nothing wrong with the word "nigger" in and of itself. It's the racist asshole who's using it that you ought to be concerned about. We don't mind when Richard Pryer or Eddie Murphy say it. Why? Because we know they're not racist. They're niggers! Context. Context!"

-- George Carlin

Do you idiots really think that if it had been illegal to say "nigger" that Michael Richards wouldn't have boarded that bus to crazy town that night? Or that young black guys will suddenly have more self-respect? Or that anything would have changed at all? Ever? Do something fucking useful with your time instead of picking words out of the dictionary to get upset about. If the past few weeks have demonstrated anything it's that some other equivalent word will just pop up to take the place of the one you don't like. Like, perhaps, "clean."